59.2
"I see you've done a lot with the place," Naomi teased upon entering the apartment.

Julianne laughed. "I plan on getting furniture this week," she responded, though she hadn't really thought about it. It was such a low priority in her list of things to do; she sometimes forgot it was even an issue until someone pointed it out. And it was always the same two people anyway. "Can I get you something to drink?" she offered, stepping toward the kitchen.

"Sure. Whatever you're having is fine."

Julianne was about to respond when her cell phone rang. "Sorry," she apologized to her guest. "Franqui," she said into the phone.

"I'd like two large pizzas with pepperoni, anchovies and pineapple."

The actress rolled her eyes at the familiar voice. "Would you excuse me for a moment?" she asked Naomi. When the director nodded, Julianne retreated into the privacy of her room.

"Am I calling at the wrong time?" Adrian asked.

Julianne closed the bedroom door and leaned her back against it. "You're always calling at the wrong time," she answered. "But I missed you. How's the tomato movie?"

"Apple," Adrian corrected. "And it's finally done. You'll be very proud. Or disturbed, one of the two."

Julianne guessed it would be the latter.

"So, I heard a female voice in the background," Adrian continued. "What have I missed?"

"Too much to recount over the phone," Julianne admitted. "But, I'm freaking out."

"That's new." Pause. "In case you couldn't tell, that was sarcasm."

Julianne stepped away from the door and lowered her voice. "Adrian, I invited her up. And I don't know how to read her. I mean, is she thinking about sex? Or am I just assuming that she's thinking it? And does she want to, or not want to? This is a lot more complicated than I thought it would be."

"First of all, who is 'her'?" Adrian asked.

"Naomi."

"The hot director?" Adrian whistled. "Did you know she posed for Playboy?"

"She did not."

"Did, too," Adrian argued. "When she was eighteen."

"Oh, my God, she did not pose for Playboy," Julianne responded, feeling frustrated and ridiculous that she was even having that discussion.

"I'll look for the issue," Adrian said. Julianne could hear him rummaging in the background. "It's around here somewhere."

Julianne banged the cell phone against her forehead. "You drive me insane."

"Found it!" Adrian cried. "Oh wait. This isn't her. Nevermind. Hey, Jules, you should sleep with this one right here. She wants to be an elementary school teacher, and her breasts are real."

"Can you be serious for a minute?" Julianne pleaded. "I'm really confused right now."

Adrian sighed. "Okay, blah blah hot lesbian in your living room ready for action. Blah blah confusion. 'Oh no it's my first time.' Blah blah blah. So, what do you think you should do?"

"I don't know," Julianne replied honestly. "She's beautiful and smart and funny and I'm really attracted to her. But…"

"She's not Kris," Adrian guessed.

"Right," Julianne answered. "And I don't want to move too fast. It's just that …"

"You want to forget about Kris and hope that banging Naomi will do the trick."

"Yeah. Well, minus the word 'banging'."

"Look, Julianne, just do what feels right."

Julianne sighed. "I'll talk to you later."

"Have fun."

Julianne hung up the phone and stared at the carpet for a long moment. She knew she had to go back out there and face Naomi, but she was scared. What would feel right? And if she went with the flow, if she just let things happen, would she regret them in the morning? She wouldn't be able to take anything back.

She stood and stepped out of the room. She found the director looking out the glass windows.

"It's such a beautiful view from here," Naomi said as Julianne approached. She turned. "Is everything okay?"

Julianne looked into green eyes and smiled. "Yes. It was just Adrian. He finished his film."

"I'm sure it will be brilliant as usual," Naomi replied with a wink. "Can't wait to see it."

Julianne could wait. She could wait a long time. But in the end, she knew she'd love the movie. Adrian had a fascinating way of making insanity interesting. Suddenly remembering that she'd offered her guest a drink prior to the interruption, she said, "Wine okay?"

"Perfect."

Julianne took a deep breath as she headed toward the kitchen. She needed to relax. Everything felt awkward, every movement felt forced. She felt outside of herself, as if she were playing a role she couldn't find the motivation for. She knew she was shaking, and wondered if Naomi felt half as nervous as she.

She opened one of the cabinets and reached up for a glass, knowing in the same way that people foresee catastrophes that she was going to drop it. She tipped it the wrong way instead of grabbing it properly, and it slid, smoothly, effortlessly from her grasp. A mere second elapsed from the moment the glass dropped from her fingers to the moment it shattered across her kitchen floor. Yet, in that brief expanse of time, she understood the limitations of possibility; she was as capable of keeping that glass from breaking, as she was of keeping her heart from love.

Naomi was at her side at an instance. "Are you okay?"

Julianne turned from the mess on the floor and stared into concerned eyes. "I'm fine," she answered. "Just a huge klutz."

Amusement replaced concern. "I'll try to keep that bit of news from the presses, then," the director replied. "For a price."

"I hope it's cheap. I'm trying to save up for furniture." Julianne smiled, aware of the fact that Naomi was right in front of her. She swallowed. "I'm really confused," she admitted in a whisper.

"About?"

"Everything."

"Then we'll take it really slow."

Slow. Julianne felt her heart speed up as their lips drew nearer. She closed her eyes, letting the moment carry her across the deep ravine of doubt. She felt Naomi's lips touch hers, in an instant that felt both surprising and surreal. Julianne wasn't sure if it was happening or not. But she knew she liked the softness pressing against her mouth; liked the way Naomi's body fit against hers.

It felt like hope. It tasted like possibility. And in an irrational moment she thought that maybe, if only she'd tried, if only she'd reacted quickly enough, she could've kept the glass from breaking.

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the knock at the door.